Shake It Up Baby!

Ever feel like shaking the Etch A Sketch really hard? I've used this metaphor before to describe my nonexistent memory on so many matters, but I'm using it a little different right now. I attended a going away party at the Ondulando Club this afternoon for Mary, a long standing board member. She and her family are moving to a little town with 7000 people in another state. I think I might be a little envious. Don't get me wrong, I love my community, particularly the wonderful friends I have here. I'm overwhelmed with emotion when I think of how many wonderful friends I've made. But, the life we have here takes so much out of us. I won't beat around the bush - it costs too darn much! I feel like I've fallen victim to living to work and that's not how it should be. We should be working to live. I've always worked hard and I'm sure I will continue to work hard because its such a big part of who I am. But there's so much more and I find myself too tired at the end of a hectic work day to enjoy much of anything. Let alone that one day a week when I'm not working, but there's so many things that I couldn't do during the week that I cram them all in so I can get back to working my butt off the next day. Incredibly, the butt doesn't get small....weird phenomenon, but I'm getting off track here. Inevitably, our ultra connected life bites us in that same over worked butt if we take an afternoon away from cell phones and email to enjoy ourselves. When we return there's some emergency that you missed and now you feel like a pile of dog doodies that you didn't answer your phone or check your email. Yikes!
Am I ignoring a big life lesson by returning to the same life I had before I got sick?
If you're reading this, you are a big part of why I feel this way. For the first time in my life, I let go and let you, and family, and friends take care of me and my family. You taught me a big lesson. I never thought anyone could do better than I could, but you did a really, really good job. So, I'm left thinking that maybe I'm ignoring the lesson. I've always been an over achiever in the classroom, but it feels like I'm answering the questions to the wrong test. Do I have the courage to sit down and answer the questions to the right test? Do I need to grow some? Will I let this opportunity pass me by.....will I let my children see this lesson? Or will they have to learn the hard way too?
So, I'll be picking up a bottle of Tamoxifen and popping pills in the next day or two. I'm hoping that the side effects are gentle on me. I really don't have time in this life I've made for myself to deal with insomnia, bloating, achy joints, uterine cancer, stroke, cataracts, or blood clots.
I will also be heading in for a bone scan in about a week, as well as scheduling an oophorectomy. We'll use oophorectomy as the word of the day and I'll let you Google that one. Anyway, I'll be getting this oophorectomy so I can go off the Tamoxifen and on to a different class of drugs called Aromatase Inhibitors. Studies show they are giving better outcomes for disease free survival. Boy that was a sentence I never thought I'd utter!
I made some salsa for the party this afternoon and a few people asked for the recipe. I learned how to make salsa years ago. Thank you Anna. I've modified it just a little. Anna likes her salsa just a bit spicier than I do! So, here goes.
In a food processor (I use a small one) put 1/2 of a medium onion, 1 carrot (old fashion long carrot....if you use the the babies, you'll need more), 1-2 jalapenos - seeds removed. Pulse the processor to chop everything up, then add a big handful of fresh cilantro and a can of organic tomatoes. Pulse again to finish chopping it up and salt to taste.
I keep a big jar of jalapenos in the fridge so I don't have to go to the store every time I want to make salsa, but fresh works great too. The carrot adds a little crunch and a little sweetness to the salsa.
Happy Sunday everyone!