May I Have Another?

Time for an update, right? It's been a while, I know. I've been busy trying to get my real estate business back on track and it's taking a TON of energy. There are a bunch of things running through my head pertaining to the current state of our economy, but my sarcastic ways would just be too much. So, instead, I'll focus those thoughts on an update about my personal Chernobal disaster. I've been asked alot lately about how it feels and how I'm doing. I've also had some refer to it as a really bad sunburn. My thoughts on the sunburn theory are "Not so much, unless you are habitating on the sun". Instead, I liken it to having someone pour gasoline on me and then light me on fire. Of course, directly after this, the gasoline toting fire dudette asks me if she can do it again. Being the brainiac I am, I answer, "of course, what time would you like me to be there?".
Anyway, after taking a break from radiation on Thursday and Friday of last week, I went in for a check on Monday. I didn't even have to persuade the doc to give me a break this time. He wrapped it for me and told me to go take a couple more days off. So, today I go back in. I can't imagine taking anymore radiation, but what the heck do I know. The skin is completely gone in a hand size area. It needs air, but if I don't keep it covered, my clothes stick to the area. I've had to use pain killers to sleep at night. I know this will be over soon, but it's not soon enough for me. As 3pm approaches today, I know my anxiety level will be increasing too. I think I'm definitely ready to accept the consequences of not finishing these last 6-7 boosts..........

Hittin' a Wall

Hittin' a wall today.....a big red, raw, blisterry wall! I am tired, and as much as I try to ignore it, it hurts. I passed my radiation oncologist on my way in today and told him I needed to see him before I went into the frydaddy. After looking at it he offered a long weekend of soaks and burn cream. So, I came home to my recliner this afternoon and I haven't moved since......so tired. Its 7:30 and the kids are just now eating. I've been doing most of the cooking lately, but this last week I am totally running out of gas way before I get to the kitchen. I think the walking in the morning and working the rest of the day is tanking me. I also had an appointment yesterday and my blood counts are getting really low again.

John is taking over....he's just a bit late in his delivery.....sitting here in my recliner waiting for someone to feed me takes alot of energy!

Hot Dogs and Apple Pie

I'm headed out for number 20 in just a bit. Lot's of color, but no skin break down yet, just the little purple blisters under the skin. I used to tan really easy when I was a kid, so I'm hoping my skin holds up well to all this. They are still using a bolus every day, which is meant to intensify the dose to the skin, so I'm guessing I won't get out of this in my current state. Although, I'm still completely numb under my arm so if that's where the skin decides to break down, I won't be able to feel it. Just trying to think positive here.....

Feeling better today. It was a cold virus I was getting on Friday. Still stuffy, but not as sluggish and achy. Could be that I've been away from the radiation for a couple of days, though.

Did you see the latest news? It was Weiner's weiner. I'm sooooo shocked! Deja vu struck me in a "I did not have sex with that woman" kinda way. It's time to rev up election headquarters Sam!

Twas the Night Before Chemo!

 I just got back from the surgeon's office. They are all so nice and helpful there, I feel very lucky to be treated by such caring and competent people. According to Dr. Woodburn, the Tumor Board 90% confirmed that because the tumor was so big, and it's placement, that the chemo first was the best course of treatment. They also thought that even if we see shrinkage, that a mastectomy was in order, with nodes being removed. My surgery will probably be at the end of March or beginning of April. He also confirmed that I will need radiation and that would start about a month after I have surgery. So, if all goes well, I should be finished with active treatment by the end of June and with a months rest be jet skiing on Lake Mohave. John seems to think I should go with double d's for that trip.

On another note, I've got adrenaline pumping through my veins today anticipating tomorrows events. I'm so relieved to have a plan, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a little apprehension about pumping toxins through my veins.

Thank you to everyone for your well wishes and prayers. Please make sure you pray that I'm not cone headed or have weird markings on my bald scalp......I'm counting on you guys for this one!

I hope everyone is having an enjoyable weekend. Thank you so much to everyone that's leaving notes in the guestbook. I love reading them!

I keep falling asleep so early at night that I'm getting up way, way too early. It was 4am this morning....maybe earlier, can't remember. Anyway, Roman got up at 4:30 and by 6:30 I was watching him through the living room window run back and forth in the backyard chasing the dogs. Seriously, if I could have even a fraction of that energy!

Speaking of energy, I've been trying to get a few things organized around here in case I don't have much get up and go left after starting my chemo. Got the boys drawers organized (of course, they won't be that way tomorrow after they rifle through looking for what they need). I finished most of the laundry. Still need to match socks. Got my closet organized. Started on my office and now I have a huge mess. Seemed like a good time to take a break.....

John just got back from a race he ran this morning in Calabasas (nope....he didn't see the Kardashian's). He's not sure where he placed because it was a pretty big race. He ran one in Westlake Village a few weeks ago and placed 2nd in his (old man)class.

On another note, on a few select bad hair days in the past, I think I may have wished I didn't have hair. Let this be a lesson....be careful what you wish for. Seriously, though, I really hate messing with my hair, so I'm going to try to enjoy my no maintenance cue ball as much as I can. I'm not convinced yet, but I'm working on it.

I'm headed out to The Ondulando Club Annual Board Meeting here in just a bit. I've served my first year as a board member and have one year to go. The kids really like having a pool, spa, and tennis courts to use and it's right here in the neighborhood. After that, I really, really need to remember to go by the pharmacy to get my meds. Not sure what they are, but I'm supposed to start them first thing tomorrow morning. I'd like to have a little time to research what I'm taking before I start. Need to pick up some biotene mouthwash and toothpaste too. The girls on the discussion boards swear by it to keep the mouth sores at bay. I had my teeth cleaning scheduled for Wednesday, but had to cancel it when my chemo was scheduled that day. I better write all this down, I forget everything these days!

Feelin' Funkilicous!

Feeling a bit funkilicous today. Kept myself distracted this morning working on a short sale. Yup, that kept me busy for most of the morning, gotta love them short sales! I was supposed to meet a pest inspector this afternoon, but I passed that off to the homeowner and crawled back under the covers for the afternoon. Maybe it's just the limboland I find myself in right now, not knowing if I'm going in for an amputation of body parts next week or if I'll be shootin' up a toxic cocktail instead. Hopefully, I'll know more tomorrow afternoon because I'm really excited about the prospects (sarcasm).

Heading over for a 2D Echo for Cardiac Ejection Fraction first thing in the morning......whatever that is. Evidently, this chemo crud can wreak a little havoc on the ole thumper.

Thanks again, everyone, for all your well wishes.....it really does mean alot to me.

Puttin' the Pieces Together

Ever bought a puzzle at a yard sale? I'd advise against this, by the way. So, for a quarter, you take it home and start putting it together and as you find the placement for more and more of the pieces, the picture starts coming together for you. Well, that's how I'm starting to feel about my diagnosis. I'm beginning to understand it alot more. There are still some missing pieces, and I know there will always be missing pieces..........just like that yard sale puzzle that always seems to be missing a few key pieces.

I want to thank my friends (you know who your are....wish I did.....but I have my suspicions)that have arranged for me to have someone come in to clean my house every other week. I am so thrilled about this, and so relieved.......and I don't know what else to say, but, thank you.

I noticed I have a couple of open slots in my schedule over the next few days, so I'm getting on the phone to fill those now with a couple more appointments.....need to strengthen my Posse. Then I'll head over to the hospital to have some blood drawn and get some xrays in preparation for the chemo. Hopefully, I can be home by lunch time and get some real estate work done this afternoon.

Husbands Say the Darndest Things!

It's official, I feel like an old person that's universe revolves around doctor's appointments and lab tests. I met the oncologist today and there's a question about the best treatment....STILL! Since the Mammogram and Ultrasound reports show the tumor at about 3 cm, and the MRI shows it at 6.5 cm, the doctor wants to consult with the surgeon, the radiologist, and the Titty Committee (John coined this one on the way home) which is a group of oncologists that will give their opinion on the best way to move forward. In addition, the surgeon is presenting our infamous Gingerbread Man to the Tumor Board tomorrow - he's getting to be a regular celebrity in these parts! So, on Friday, I will receive a call from the oncologist with a decision on how to move forward. That said, I would say that she was more swayed towards neoadjuvant (chemo first) therapy by the end of the appointment. After examination of the tumor, she could tell that it seemed much larger than 3cm, even though it's hard to determine edges on one side. Once I get that call, we should be able to move forward with treatment quickly, and more than likely receive my first chemo treatment before Thanksgiving.

Something I forgot to share with you that happened last week after my appointment with the surgeon.........John could tell I was a little distant after the appointment and while we were driving he turned to me and asked, "Is there something you want to get off your chest?"

'nuff said!

Chemobabe

I ran across a blog this morning while I was enjoying my morning coffee. So many of the things she writes in this post are so famaliar to me that I wanted to share it with you.

http://www.chemobabe.com/2009/12/%E2%80%9Cshe-went-through-the-treatment-%E2%80%9D/

Enjoy your extra hour today!